We’ve been together since I was born. We’ve weathered many storms. We’ve gone on adventures and explored new places. You never judged me or left me in my time of need. Now that I enter a new phase in my life I couldn’t help but notice our relationship has changed. You’re fading, going away, backing off… I don’t know how to deal with this. I knew it was a possibility but I fooled myself into thinking we were going to get through this untouched. I figured you were strong enough to stick around during the most exciting yet scariest time in my life OUR life. But, like so many others have already experienced, you abandoned me so where do we go from here.
Okay so that was extremely dramatic but you get my point. I started noticing thinning around my hairline when I hit 3 months postpartum. At 4 months I knew I wasn’t crazy and that my edges were indeed thinning. This wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t convince myself that my edges would be fine. However I did and now I’m way more traumatized than I should be. I would pick my son over my edges but I miss them. Pulled back hairstyles don’t look the same and the overall feel of a simple ponytail or bun is just sad now. I have confidence my edges will return to me but for now I wonder where our relationship went wrong. Was it the pregnancy hormones? The lack of attention? The frequent washing without conditioning? Only time will reveal the reason but know I miss you and I will do everything I can to get you to come back to me.
This blog is and always will be a way for my son (or any future children) to get to know me and hopefully to give anyone else some comfort that they aren’t alone. But I’ve been wondering… Should I include pictures? I’m still leaning towards none with faces but posting a few. My reasoning is you (my son) will have all of the ones with the faces included so having them for the world to see is unnecessary. On the other hand I’m sure I’ll want to show you your mommy’s progress as she gets healthy and shrinks down! Okay okay I just want to show my progress.
Wow you just attempted to roll over as I’m writing this (6/30/16)!! You didn’t but I’m excited now.
I’m going to be honest this is also about me and by golly I want to have evidence of how far I’ve come. Now I should be honest and say I was overweight before I being pregnant but I’d love to slim down and get even better than what I was 🙂 My constant silent goal since turning 26 was to improve in some way every year. Well I’ve been failing. Sure I’ve changed but it wasn’t necessarily an improvement. So now that you’ve arrived I feel as though my drive has been renewed. (Side note you’re angrily shaking the toys attached to the top of your play mat and it’s adorable). Must pause for undisclosed amount of time because my time for writing is up…
The pause was super long (7/25/16)! I honestly don’t remember everything I was going to write so I’ll sum it up based on what’s above.
- eventually post about my health and fitness journey
- post pics of my family but our faces will be covered/ not included
- figure out how to document buying our first home just in case we’ve moved by the time you’re old enough to read/ appreciate this
- post weekly about whatever is going on in my world because I need an outlet
- find an outlet because being a Stay At Home Mom is still strange for me (I’ve worked consistently for over a decade)
- live with purpose ( I won’t elaborate on that for now because I’m still determining what that means for me)
- use more memes because they’re funny
- side note: anyone know if you can find the source of a meme? I’d like to give credit where it’s due or ask permission. If not I’ll attempt to figure out how to create my own