Anniversary Post

dream

Happy Anniversary to us!

Letter to my husband:

I love you because you allow me to be myself in all of my weird, random, crazy, psychotic, childish and moody ways. I love how you look at me when I say something so crazy that even you wonder if I’m sane. I love how you sleepily comfort me in the middle of the night even if you don’t know what’s wrong. I love how you accept that I want to complain to my best friend (you) about something my husband (also you) did 😉 I love that you compliment me. I get angry you calm me down. I’m sad you try to lift my spirits. I cry you encourage me to let it all out. I become pessimistic you force me to see your annoyingly optimistic point of view. I feel like the world hates me and you remind me that it is impossible since the whole world doesn’t know me (there’s that annoying optimism). My point is I love you because you show that you love me enough to accept who I am not who you want or imagine me to be. You love the woman that I am, the capable wife I’m striving to be and the good mother I hope to become.

Love,

BBK (Inside joke)

Now for the anniversary kick off!

My husband & I travel as our anniversary gift to each other rather than exchanging gifts but we always go out to dinner on/ around our anniversary. This year we went to Red Lobster and I was totally surprised to find out it was my favorite time: ENDLESS SHRIMP!

RL

Needless to say baby-love (our kid’s nickname) & I ate way too much shrimp but we enjoyed every minute of it. Hubby ordered the same but he has self-control unlike myself… We talked about our baby, what we were looking forward to and what we hoped to teach him/her. We chatted about the first things we want to document as well as the odd milestones that most people wouldn’t normally keep track of. We quickly mentioned fears but tried not to dwell on them too long as not to bring down the mood of the evening. We discussed other adult things as well as our upcoming (and probably last big one for a while) vacation. All in all it was the perfect night. Relaxing, loving, informative and fun/ entertaining.

FYI – Anniversary/ Vacation post will most likely be a ton of pictures with captions rather than a real post.

Glucose Test – 11w2d

YAY! We made it through the yucky stuff. The car accident was finished, the spotting stopped (lasted a whole week), our baby was fine, vacation was completely paid off and both of us now had websites with registered domain names.

We were both eagerly awaiting our next appointment as it would be with my regular OB (technically NP…) whom I hadn’t seen in person in a while. Plus you guessed it we also got to leave work early which meant more time we could spend together without being tired from work and traffic.

Since this wasn’t our first appointment, we were prepared. I had all of my paperwork, questions and urine sample! We were so excited because in my mind this made it official. I was seeing the lady who’d been helping me and referred me to an RE right before we got our BFP.

First standard hubby protocol. Asked routine questions, hubby comes back, we make jokes then NP comes in. Keep in mind I referred to her as doctor up until recently but that’s jumping ahead. We greet each other, I introduce her to my hubby and the appointment examine starts. She checks lady parts, asks how I’ve been feeling then does US (ultrasound). During the US, hubby was being awesome and took video after a slightly hilarious conversation about whose phone to use. We joked during the US and I tried to guess the length (horribly off) then she asked if we had any questions. I asked everything under the sun including if my prenatal was adequate, my weight concerns and my exercise DVD. She answered all of my questions and hubby’s then told us what was going to happen next. To quickly sum up the next two appointments: found out about help if I get depressed/ stressed during pregnancy, info about/ dates for next two appointments but each one took way too long because we were chatting (really loved the ladies that helped us!) so we had to wait for the glucose test.

Glucose Test1

I decide to do the glucose test the next day in the morning which meant no hubby to keep me occupied during the hour wait. I came early armed with a book to make the time pass and to enjoy some uninterrupted reading. I walked up to the counter after being called, smiled as big as I possibly could while telling her why I was there, picked my flavor (orange or lime), drank it quickly then waited. I chose lime because I’d heard stories about the overtly sweet tasting orange flavor. I thought the lime flavor tasted like a really lemony Sprite. I wanted to take a picture but they promptly take the bottle from you when you’re finished. So now the wait begins. I sat for what didn’t seem too long until the waiting room started to fill up and people became increasingly loud. When my time was up I felt like shouting BINGO! but refrained. After 8 vials of blood, I was slightly dizzy and done! Easy breezy 🙂 Thankfully my hospital/ doctor’s office post the results on my health manager so I didn’t have to wait until my next appointment before I found out the results. All was fine and now I could wait (not so patiently) for the next appointment.

Please note I wanted to add the funny US video but I don’t know how. If I figure it out I’ll post it in here!

Spotting Scare/ First Appt

I had it planned perfectly! We were going to go in on 7/29 full of excitement over getting off of work early and seeing our baby for the first time (technically spot on the screen but whatever). I would have been 8w2d which should be enough time to see the heartbeat as well as a sac. I was nervous but excited for what the future held. Could 9 couldn’t even express my excitement.

One week then two weeks and all of a sudden we were within a few days of our first appointment. Everything had been uneventful up until Monday. I went to the bathroom wiped like usual but saw something that almost always equaled problem, panic and fear in my head. A bright red spot was on the tissue.

No, I thought as I convinced myself I wiped too hard.

No, I thought as I continued to wipe because pregnant people don’t see spots.

No, I thought as I tried to push out every negative thing I’d read on the Fertility Friend forums about tragic endings after spotting.

No, I said out loud as I tried desperately to cling to the many women on the forums that reported spotting all throughout pregnancy who ended up having a perfectly healthy baby.

I could talk to myself in the bathroom no more as I heard the bell at the front desk ring loud. DING again as I rushed to wash my hands and compose myself. Thankfully someone else grabbed it and sat the package on my chair. I sat there mindlessly taking the package where it needed to go all the while wondering if this was all ending suddenly. I calmly sat at my desk working while my brain thought of every horrible scenario possible (ectopic, early miscarriage, molar, burst fallopian tube, etc) even some that didn’t make sense. I went back to the bathroom but didn’t see anything. “See”, I told myself, “you’re just paranoid. You really need to stay off of those forums”. I tried to avoid drinking anything so I didn’t have to use the bathroom again but I did. More spotting but brighter… The end of the day finally came and I honestly can’t remember if i even mentioned it to my husband.

7/20/15 – The spotting continued. I couldn’t take it so I called the advice nurse. I explained what was going on and she was very understanding. She said since I hadn’t been seen yet they couldn’t rule out anything so I needed to come in as soon as possible. She reassured me this is common in early pregnancy and that everything was most likely fine. I calmly called my husband to see if he could make arrangements to meet me there and I told my boss what was going on and that I had to leave during my lunch and wouldn’t be coming back just in case I received bad news. As my backup came to the front I simply said I had a last minute appointment and left as I tried to hold back tears. All I kept thinking was we finally conceive and I lose the baby before our first appointment.

Hubby must have been flying because he made it to my job in record time. We decided to take one vehicle since I wasn’t in the mood to drive anyways. Upon arriving I was beyond nervous. I was making bad jokes and trying everything I could think of to take the sting out of hearing/ seeing nothing on the screen. We sat in the waiting room wondering if we’d leave glowing or grieving. Finally we were called. I was shocked when she said oh you have to wait here we’ll come get you when she’s ready. I left looking into my husband’s eyes trying not to run out like a child. I woman’ed up and went through the process. Weight, height, blood pressure, temperature, getting undressed, being asked domestic and drug questions then waiting. She popped back in to ask what my … name was. I quickly answered my Husband’s name is… I understand not everyone is married for their own reasons but I wanted to let her know his title 🙂 Minutes later he’s in the room with me. It is just him and I so I tell him why he couldn’t come back. We joked about there not being any protection for abused husbands then the Nurse Practitioner came in. My normal OB (technically NP) wasn’t there until tomorrow so I saw someone else. She explained what she was going to do, made light jokes in order to make us feel better and eventually gave us an honest talk. Apparently she has dealt with lots of first time parents and knew she needed to be fun but honest with us. She told us that certain “activities” irritate the cervix but it is nothing to worry about considering how much is going on down there. She also said to take it easy;)

The moment of truth finally came. Ultrasound (US) time. I prepared to slide down the blanket exposing my abdomen only to be surprised by her telling me to spread em! I had no idea they went in vaginally this early. I assumed it would be like in the movies; they’d put goop on my ab area and presto chango. I was horribly wrong but the goop was still used. (Picture a shocked face here) Then it happened. Everything was exactly where it should be and she turned up the sound so we could hear the heartbeat. I expected one of us to cry but we both sat there stupefied. The whole appointment seemed like it went by in a flash and we were extremely grateful for the outcome but a few things stick out.

  1. Spotting is normal especially after certain “activities”
  2. NPs (at least the ones I’ve dealt with) have a great sense of humor
  3. Our Medical Assistance stressed arriving early, bringing all of our paperwork and peeing in the cup as if we were late and knew we were supposed to pee in a cup before hand. I politely reminded her that this was our first appointment and we were here for what we thought was a last minute emergency appt
    1. Irony, said medical assistant had to call me because she prematurely threw out my urine sample and was requesting I come in for another
  4. New US technology is awesome
  5. Hearing baby’s heartbeat for the first time can be a huge thrill/ relief but also a huge blur so record it if possible
  6. My OB (technically NP) is amazing and she followed up with me the next day to say pelvic rest (no “activities”) until the bleeding stopped but everything looked normal and this was simply a precaution

The Next Step – Phone Appt

We finally figured out the next step. I called the advice line and spoke with the nicest lady ever only to be transferred to someone who was more… Prickly lets call the other lady prickly… She told me I hadn’t missed my period and should have waited a week considering they won’t see me until 8 weeks. Then she scheduled my appointment and very dryly said Congratulations. As she tried to rush me off of the phone, I asked if I needed to come in for a blood or urine test to confirm pregnancy. Again she reminded me that in the eyes of doctors (not my charting) I didn’t miss my period so a urine test might not show up and a blood test seems unnecessary until I miss my period. I insisted and attempted to explain that we had been trying for a while and wanted to know quickly. She hastily says I can go in and didn’t need her to order the blood test. I knew that seemed strange because I had to have my doctor order the initial test for my pre-conception checkup. But she worked there and I didn’t so I took her word for it and arranged to go to the lab after work.

I’d like to mention that my car was still in the shop due to my accident so in addition to taking me to/ from work hubby would now have to speed in his Crown Vic to get me to the lab on time. Does anyone know how much fuel for a Crown Vic cost?? I didn’t because my Chevy Cobalt barely takes any. I say all of this so you’ll know why WE were so annoyed. Long story short hubby rushed from work to take me to the lab only to get there and be told that the blood work had to be ordered but I could take the urine test. I took the test and left feeling like someone deflated my balloon. Thankfully my urine test came back early the next day but the result was inconclusive. What did that mean? Isn’t it yes or no? Is there a maybe answer to that test? I called as soon as the advice line was open so I could get clarification. Thankfully the odd test led to blood work being requested without question.

I waited for what felt like days to get the blood test result. Finally about 1-2 days later I get a call from my doctor’s office. It’s my OB (correction NP but I’ve only ever seen her so she’s an OB in my head) on the line saying the sweetest things and congratulating me! She said she asked them to wait so she could call me herself. Apparently she remembered me from all of my emails which started well before we were even ready to conceive. I felt so relieved. Don’t get me wrong it isn’t as if I thought ALL of those tests could be wrong but talking to Ms. Prickly made me doubt my eyes and reading ability. In the end that one phone call from someone I didn’t even think remembered me changed my whole mood. Our next big milestone would be 7/29/15 when we have our first office visit!